Boneyard
ADULT THRILL LEVEL – None
WAIT TIME – Low
KID GRADE – (G) Suitable for most ages 5-12
ADULT RATING – We don’t get to participate, just watch.
You know those ball pits at places like Chuck E. Cheese? Ok, replace it with sand and bones and just not as deep. Kids LOVE this thing. There are multiple levels, slides and lots of places to uncover buried “bones” in the sand.
Now if you are uber-paranoid that space aliens will snatch your kids, don’t even show them this because they will want to go and then you will have to listen to the whining and screaming all the way back to your room at All Star Movies. If it makes any difference, there is only one entrance and one exit. So if you park yourself at the exit, no one can get out with your kid.
Honestly I wouldn’t be concerned. You can watch from above. True it’s hard to keep your eyeball on them all the time, especially if they are fast but if you are that worried, why did you even leave your house in the first place? I would defiantly save this for an end of the day activity.
Dinosaur!
ADULT THRILL LEVEL – Moderate
WAIT TIME – Moderate - High
KID GRADE – (PG) This ride has height requirements. It is very dark, there are large, scary dinosaurs that try to eat you. They also “jump” out at you. Assess your own child’s tolerance. The ride is also very jerky and smaller bodies bounce around more than adults.
ADULT RATING – (B-) There was the opportunity for this to be a stellar ride. It barely rates above average. Too short, go watch the gorillas again. They are more entertaining.
Dinosaur!, (formerly Countdown to Extinction), is an interesting ride. It was also too short, too dark, and too jerky.
While this ride appears to be patterned (VERY loosely) on the look of the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, it is a poor and cheap reflection. The ride is so dark inside that most details of the ride are obscured in the gloom. I hear that the Imagineers planned it that way. If they did, it was a bad choice. We don’t want bright light but we want to see more of the dinosaurs.
The jeep vehicles are taken from the Indy garage sale but the ride is not as intricately themed as its Southern California cousin. The jerkiness of the ride, paired with the dark is a prescription for whiplash. If you like being tossed around like laundry, then you will love this ride.
Primevil Whirl
ADULT THRILL LEVEL – Moderate
WAIT TIME – Moderate
KID GRADE – (PG) Spins like crazy.
ADULT RATING – (B-) If you like the Alice Teacups, you will love this. If not, avoid it since this land sucks anyway.
OK, this is a wild mouse ride. It’s one of those carny rides that Walt hated and has his ashes spinning at Forest Lawn Glendale and NO he is not frozen. This ride spins or grinds to a halt mid-spin as the mighty ride computer sees fit. This lurchy ride from Hell nearly made me loose my pork sandwich on the ride operator. The ride is less than 2 minutes long and will give you at least 2 hours of indigestion. If you are one of those sick people, like my old roommate Dot, that digs the whirl and puke kinda ride, go for it. If not, go for a frozen lemonaide and squirt people coming off Kali River Rapids. MUCH more fun.
Triceratop Spin
ADULT THRILL LEVEL – Low
WAIT TIME – High
KID GRADE – (G) Suitable for all ages
ADULT RATING – If you like Dumbo, knock yourself out. If not, avoid this slow loading ride.
This is basically Dumbos Flying Elephants if Dumbo looked like a green Triceratops. Same ride, different animal to ride around in. Don’t bother. Really. If you really have to because your child is going to have a melt-down, ride it early in the day before the lines stretch to China and beyond.
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