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Sunday, January 17, 2010

Animal Kingdom: Camp Minnie-Mickey (WDW)

Pocahontas and Friends

ADULT THRILL LEVEL – None (unless crowds of ankle killing strollers scare you – and they should)


KID GRADE(G) Suitable for all ages but is perfect for very small children.  They get to sit right up front and get a good look at the small live critters that populate this inane, uber-PC show.

ADULT RATING(D) I personally give it a C for the good actress and the skunk.  Everyone else I've met gives it a D and was glad to be out of there and on their way to the food.  The majority of teens will be bored out of their minds.

Against my better judgment, I braved the sea of bodies and strollers known as CAMP MINNIE-MICKEY for a skunk.  That's right, a skunk.  I love skunks.  I think they are cuter than kittens.  I love their little rolly walk and the cute little way they stamp their widdle feet.  OK, maybe I’m just weird but it was the reason I went to the show.  This land is accessed across a wee bridge and is in actuality one of the ninth rings of Hell.  It is mobbed with children and rude parents who are ready to scythe you off at the ankles with a stroller the size of a small SUV. I heard they use live animals, including a skunk, in the Pocahontas show, so heedless of the less-than-glowing reports from various sources I went.  I should have listened.

The show is really lame.  I’m talking Scooby Doo after they added Scrappy Doo lame.  I knew this show was going down the dark forest path when a puppet in the form of a little annoying tree started talking and would not shut up.  Just to be clear, this was not Grandma Willow, this was a miniature tree.  I really wished the clear cutters would have chain sawed that tree.  Now THAT would have been entertainment!  The actress playing Pocahontas was very good but the script was non-existent.  Most of the time she was just sweeping about the stage looking concerned.  Very concerned.  Concerned to the point of what would happen to her waterfall of hair if she couldn’t get enough product to combat the Florida humidity.

Pocahontas sang songs, little live critters would make their appearances and she would get all preachy and concerned about the environment.  Now I LOVE the Earth and I am a recycling fiend.  It's part of my life and my religion but GIVE ME A BREAK on the Disney preachy PC messages on all these rides.  I want to be entertained.  I am NOT on a Greenpeace retreat.

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